{Rant}

23^rd April 2013

10:38am

I have come to the conclusion on this very sleepy, quiet, Tuesday night of mine, that my life sucks sometimes. I know that if my mother was reading this right now, she’d be cussing and going “You have a blessed life, don’t say it sucks because you’re blessed! Think of the poor starving kids in Africa!”

And whilst my heart does go out to those gorgeous little dark kids over there in Africa, I’m not thinking that worldly right now. Right now, I’m mulling over in my little head my own problems, which mentally could make up a whole list, but as I go to write them down now I’d struggle to even make two dot points.

So instead, I’m not gunna go all dot-point-list fancy, I’m going to go straight out and say the two main things that suck in my life at this present moment in time. First, Karate. It’s the only community based activity/sport I do apart from school of course. Don’t get me wrong, I used to enjoy karate. But lately I’ve been dreading it, it almost feeling like a chore. It doesn’t help that whilst I am skilfully juggling homework, school, home life, internet life, friends, family and karate that my little brother practises karate in his spare time (of which he has a lot) so he is the clear standout standing beside me. I even think that the karate teacher is beginning to sense my not-wanting-to-be-there-ness but hasn’t commented. To me in person, who knows what he’s said but I’m not going to go into that. I’m just gunna say that I have stopped enjoying the art of karate, and whilst everyone around me are moving up belts, enjoying themselves, the part of the karate classes that I like is the socialising which there isn’t a lot of now we train with the adults. But, my mum says the only way I can get out of it is by changing to some other community based activity/sport instead of karate. But as a non-sporty person in a small town, finding something community based activity NOT relating to sport is difficult. The main options are netball and basketball, with some cricket, dance and tennis options in there too. But none of them appeal to me, but believe me, I’ve tried.

In my middle years of primary school, I tried (aka: was forced) by my parents to give tennis, basketball and netball good go’s. So I stuck with each sport for a while until I realised sport is NOT my thing.

But anyway, back to my rant. There is basically nothing else to do in this town apart from Scouts or Girl Guides, and I dunno ‘bout you, but learning how to pitch tents or sell cookies doesn’t overly appeal to me. My closest girlfriend does Guides, but she has told me it’s full of little girls and she is the only senior there. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friend, but I feel if I do Guides we’d pretty much be doing literally everything together, as she is in my year level at school, in pretty much all my classes and we always hang out at lunchtime, and she does Karate too. So I feel if I do Guides we’d get sick of each other too much.

But Mum didn’t budge when I told her I didn’t want to do anything else- she said choose something else or stick with Karate. So it seems I have to stick with karate, which I dislike (hate is a very strong word) extremely.  This sucks. I mean, why do something you don’t enjoy? I’ve been doing karate for about 3-4 years now and the main reason mum made me join was for basic self-defence, y’know. Prior to lately she has said I have to do it till I get my black belt, but she has become more lenient on that saying I don’t have to.

But, ugh. Enough about my rant about karate, I’m just looking back over what I’ve written and its mighty long.

My 2^nd suckish thing in life right now: Maths. I recently got back my interim reports and for effort in maths I got a satisfactory. My parents said they were very ‘disappointed’ in me. Now, before I go any further, I’ve gotta say this. I HATE MATHS. Heaps. Always have. I had some sort of IQ test or somewhat when I was only a little kid (not even in kinder) and I got reasonably high results in everything but maths, so I guess I was born this way. Born without the maths vein in my brain which allows maths nerds (*cough* my brother *cough*) to figure out maths equations in a matter of seconds. That is pretty much the opposite of moi. Sometimes, being paranoid in tests, I use the calculator to type in 6+7. Yeah, that pretty much explains it all.

So Mum says she understands that I hate maths and although she didn’t use these words, she pretty much also said that I suck at it too. But she said she wanted me to give some effort. Which I have been doing, mind you. It’s just...maths sucks. It doesn’t interest me, and I hate numbers. Whilst I try my hardest to focus, I almost feel like I don’t belong in the maths world. Sit me in a library, in front of a typewriter or daydreaming and I’m blissful, happy in a land of clouds and unicorns. Sit me in a maths class, in front of a maths problem or any maths in general, and I’m in hell.

I know I should try harder since it’s my weakest point and all, and I’m going to TRY to focus more now after I’ve gotten my report, but I can’t guarantee anything. I’ve got parent teacher interviews on Monday and my parents are both quite eager to see my maths teacher (only coz of my only-just-passed mark in effort) which is going to be........interesting.

Anyway, enough of my rant. I just realised how negative this has all been so far!! I don’t mean it to be, but it just happens!! But to be honest with you, they are the two main bad things in my life at the mo’, the rest is pretty good!

Wednesday is my last day of school for the week, because of ANZAC (Australian & New Zealand Army Corps) day on Thursday and then a teacher curriculum day on Friday (both days I get off) so I’ve got a majorly WICKED 4 DAY WEEKEND coming up which is awesome. But tomorrow, (which is Wednesday at the time of writing this) has maths AND karate. Ugh.

Ok EJ, take a de-ep breath... and whilst before you said you don’t like lists, you’re gunna write one right now, of positive things in my life.

·         The fact I’ve got a four day weekend coming up! PARTAY TIME!

·         My mum. Just then. She came in and thanked me for helping her pack backpacks tonight (that’s another story which I won’t go into) but it made me feel loved and appreciated and it took her mind off my satisfactory maths mark.

·         My Lost Boys fan fic. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of in love with The Lost Boys at the moment. Y’know, the 80s movie about vampires and that has Kiefer Sutherland, Jason Patric, Jami Gertz and Dianne Wiest in it? It’s amazing. And today I found a bunch of fan fictions on the internet that I’m gunna read on my day off tomorrow :D

·         Poly. It’s as simple as that. c’:

·         My good-ish marks for the rest of my report.

Uhm I’ve lost inspiration now. Awkward.

And it’s now 11:08pm so I better get to sleep, coz I’ve got my LAST DAY OF THE WEEK TOMORROW! YAY :D

WITH KARATE AND MATHS. NO D:

BUT WILL I GET THROUGH IT? YES!

HAVE I ABANDONED THIS BLOG FOR WAY TOO LONG? YES! D:

AM I SORRY? YES! D:

HAVE I WRITTEN ABOUT MY AWESOMESAUCE HOLIDAY TO JAPAN YET? NO! D:

WILL I SOON? YES! :D

AM I GOING TO STOP DOING THIS? YES! :D

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY <3

All my love,

EJ

Xx

 

my links:

polyvore: www.littleninja.polyvore.com

instagram: @sundae_mornings

pinterest: @ej_xox

figment: uhh can’t remember, I’ll be back to you on that xp

 

XOXO