Wednesday, 24 April 2013

{Anzac Day & Magic}

25th April 2013
ANZAC day public holiday

Well, my day is only half over and already so much has happened. And no, I’m not talking about me actually doing anything like, something....something...productive with my time. –shudders- I can’t stand that thought.
No, I mean so much has happened in other ways. Such as this next example. In the bright, early hours of this morning at approximately 5:00am my ‘delightful’ mother came into my room and woke me up. But it wasn’t until 5:30am until I dragged my slothy self out of bed and got dressed in layer upon layer and in a beanie, big warm coat and scarf. This is quite the task when you’re half asleep. As I walked out into the kitchen complaining of hunger, my parents shoved a few ANZAC biscuits into my grasp and we got in the car as we were going to have to be quick if we wanted to arrive at 6:00am for the ANZAC dawn service.

The car was freezing. Even though I was rugged up I was only just getting warm with the car heater when we arrived at town. As we walked towards the big memorial gates where the service was going to be held, I took a look at the people count. As a usual attender of the dawn service every year, I could safely say that this year’s turnout was much bigger than lasts, which was great to see.

Before I go any further, I better explain to some of you who may be reading who aren’t Australian what ANZAC day is. It’s basically a day where Australians and New Zealanders remember the soldiers of our countries who have served in all wars, although the main focus is on WW1 and the battle at Gallipoli which is said to have been what really brought Australia together as a nation. The ANZACS (Australian + New Zealand Army Corps) are the main focus, although the family and friends of ANZACS also play a part in our hearts. I could go into much greater detail as this is a subject I am very knowledgeable about since I studied a whole class on it last term but I won’t ramble. Back to the dawn service, shall we?

So the service started on 6:00 sharp and it rolled the way most dawn services do. There was the guy who ran most of it, bearing proudly some medals sewn onto his jacket; he was the conductor of it all. There was also a priest who read out some religious notes throughout, and lastly a local man who has very recently served in both Afghanistan and Iran told us of some of his experiences. Although the morning certainly was very frosty, the people of my town stood still for an entire hour, to honour our soldiers of all wars, and to remember them with pride. The Last Pope was played (on record, unfortunately the usual bugle player wasn’t there) but still had a chilling effect. As everyone shuffled forwards to collect a poppy at the end of the service to place at the gates, I took a look around to see if I could spot any familiar faces.

Many faces were those of locals, who I don’t know by name but whose faces are familiar. Among them my mum spotted a friend, I spotted two girls from school and a local teacher among the crowd who had all gotten up at the ripe old time of six o’clock. I felt immense respect not just for our soldiers but also for all these people who had bothered to get up out of bed and celebrate our ANZACS. People short and tall, old and young, had all gathered around our memorial gates for one reason and one reason only: to remember them. With pride, gratitude, and to thank them for the nation Australia is today.

After the service had finished, Dad drove us back home. As we were driving, I looked out the window and up the road a little. Now, something quite unusual happens to me in a minute. So the road to my house is a dirt road right, and there are huge gum trees and stumps all surrounding the sides of the road. I had looked up ahead and I swear I saw figure of an ANZAC from the waist up. The hat, hand paused in salute and everything!! But as we got closer, and I continued to stare out the window in wonder, I looked and saw what I thought to be a digger was simply a tree branch. Now I don’t know if that actually meant anything or if it was just a slip of my mind in early morning, but I wanted to put that down.
 As we got home, we watched some coverage of the services on TV from Gallipoli, France, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Canberra, but very soon we began to grow sleepy.  My parents fell asleep on the couch whilst I crept back to my room and have only woken up about half an hour ago. But let me tell you of the dreams I had.

Usually, my dreams are very odd. In no particular order, here are some of the things from my more significant dreams:
Bushfires, Chihuahuas, family, celebrities, swimming, loosing teeth, kissing (which is odd because I am yet to have my first kiss so I guess my brain just guessed what it’d be like in those particular dreams), bears, a magical pony, gorillas, vampires, my dog Rosie, and a loch ness monster.
And many of them, if I went to a dream reader, would tell me they had no significance at all because they’re all so random. But this certain one I had today, not before the service but after, I have been dwelling on in my mind and I will write down what parts of it I can remember.

I remember sitting on the side of a fountain of what looked like some sort of city square. Anyway, first there was a boy next to me. I have never seen this boy in my (real, awake) life, and I struggle to remember what he looks like now, but I will try. I think he had sandy coloured hair, brown eyes, normal to tan skin, and my god he was sexy. He looked maybe a year or so older than me. But anyway. Prior to this moment in my dream world I must have obviously at least known him before. We must have talked prior in THIS dream but I can’t remember that, all I can remember is him in my arms, his head on my lap, looking deep into my eyes and a single tear slipping down his face. I think he had just been shot (I can’t remember the shooting clear enough to tell you the specifics or even who shot him) but all I remember is him, clutching onto his last moments of life. His hand had oh so very gently rested on my cheek, and his last words were “Please.” He then had softly pushed my head towards his and we kissed until his lips became lifeless and his eyelids slowly fluttered shut and I was holding a lifeless teenage boy in my hands that I had immense love for.

 I remember bawling my eyes out and my god can I just say, this dream seemed so real.
Afterwards, I can’t remember these ones so clearly, but two other people I was with in that dream after McDreamy had died also died somehow. I was gutted, I was like a lifeless person, having random bursts of sobs whenever I remembered any of these three who had passed away. Which is odd now as I type this, because from what I can remember now I don’t know any of these people in my own head, I think they were just figments of my imagination, but pieces of my heart, my soul, my being seemed to be ripped out as each of them died because, oddly enough, I was the only one present when each of them passed.
But soon after the deaths, I was wandering around a town, with my mind repeatedly chanting stuff like ‘what’s the point of life anymore’ because I had loved these people so much. But then I saw a little girl. She was only very small, and she was wearing a dress and had big blue eyes. She was alone, which I should have noticed in the dream but I didn’t. Her blue eyes reminded me of one of the other two who had died and I began to lose it again. Somehow this smart little kid knew I needed somebody and came over to me and took me to a park bench. She sat me down and said “What’s the matter?

I recall telling her of the deaths of these three people I loved, and how I somehow felt the cause of them because I was the only one there with them (dreams are weird things.) And I remember her then telling me this quote, which made me bring tears to my eyes of how simply beautiful it was.  She was like an angel.
The only reason I can quote what she said exactly is because as soon as I woke up, I wrote it down. It was something along the lines of this:
‘When people die, they never really leave us. You just have to keep looking for them. They’re all still around us, in many little ways most people overlook. Keep looking.’
In her words she said that so beautifully it made me believe everything she said. After she said that, I remember he going on to naming the three who had died (whose names I can’t remember now, damn!) and pointing out how they are still around us. There was a storm brewing to the right of us above the buildings, and she told me to watch the lightning. I saw one flash, and it lit up the whole sky. As the rest of the sky was a bright white, there was a dark outline of the boy’s face from the start, the sandy haired cutie, y’know? And I saw his face and it almost felt like he was there with me for that split second, but then the flash ended and he was gone.

She pointed out the other two also but I can’t remember those, because as she was I had begun to slip out of this dream because as I was trying to listen to her, I could hear my mum walking around my house (as in, in real life) so I was on the verge of waking up.
When I did, I felt an odd sense of warmth within me. I’ve been happily floating around today after that dream, still on an odd high of some sort.
So now you understand why I’ve been pondering that dream (and the soldier/stump thing from earlier) all morning so far. Been wondering if it was just a coincidence or if it meant something or whatever. I really don’t know what to think about the whole situation to be honest with you, but I feel better to have written it all down. And for it to be out there, not just sitting in a document on my laptop never to be read again for years.
I’m going to go now, as I feel if I write any more I’m going to begin to ramble.
Until next time,
‘Lest We Forget.’
-       Love EJ x

Tuesday, 23 April 2013


23rd April 2013


I have come to the conclusion on this very sleepy, quiet, Tuesday night of mine, that my life sucks sometimes. I know that if my mother was reading this right now, she’d be cussing and going “You have a blessed life, don’t say it sucks because you’re blessed! Think of the poor starving kids in Africa!”

And whilst my heart does go out to those gorgeous little dark kids over there in Africa, I’m not thinking that worldly right now. Right now, I’m mulling over in my little head my own problems, which mentally could make up a whole list, but as I go to write them down now I’d struggle to even make two dot points.

So instead, I’m not gunna go all dot-point-list fancy, I’m going to go straight out and say the two main things that suck in my life at this present moment in time. First, Karate. It’s the only community based activity/sport I do apart from school of course. Don’t get me wrong, I used to enjoy karate. But lately I’ve been dreading it, it almost feeling like a chore. It doesn’t help that whilst I am skilfully juggling homework, school, home life, internet life, friends, family and karate that my little brother practises karate in his spare time (of which he has a lot) so he is the clear standout standing beside me. I even think that the karate teacher is beginning to sense my not-wanting-to-be-there-ness but hasn’t commented. To me in person, who knows what he’s said but I’m not going to go into that. I’m just gunna say that I have stopped enjoying the art of karate, and whilst everyone around me are moving up belts, enjoying themselves, the part of the karate classes that I like is the socialising which there isn’t a lot of now we train with the adults. But, my mum says the only way I can get out of it is by changing to some other community based activity/sport instead of karate. But as a non-sporty person in a small town, finding something community based activity NOT relating to sport is difficult. The main options are netball and basketball, with some cricket, dance and tennis options in there too. But none of them appeal to me, but believe me, I’ve tried.

In my middle years of primary school, I tried (aka: was forced) by my parents to give tennis, basketball and netball good go’s. So I stuck with each sport for a while until I realised sport is NOT my thing.

But anyway, back to my rant. There is basically nothing else to do in this town apart from Scouts or Girl Guides, and I dunno ‘bout you, but learning how to pitch tents or sell cookies doesn’t overly appeal to me. My closest girlfriend does Guides, but she has told me it’s full of little girls and she is the only senior there. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friend, but I feel if I do Guides we’d pretty much be doing literally everything together, as she is in my year level at school, in pretty much all my classes and we always hang out at lunchtime, and she does Karate too. So I feel if I do Guides we’d get sick of each other too much.

But Mum didn’t budge when I told her I didn’t want to do anything else- she said choose something else or stick with Karate. So it seems I have to stick with karate, which I dislike (hate is a very strong word) extremely.  This sucks. I mean, why do something you don’t enjoy? I’ve been doing karate for about 3-4 years now and the main reason mum made me join was for basic self-defence, y’know. Prior to lately she has said I have to do it till I get my black belt, but she has become more lenient on that saying I don’t have to.

But, ugh. Enough about my rant about karate, I’m just looking back over what I’ve written and its mighty long.

My 2nd suckish thing in life right now: Maths. I recently got back my interim reports and for effort in maths I got a satisfactory. My parents said they were very ‘disappointed’ in me. Now, before I go any further, I’ve gotta say this. I HATE MATHS. Heaps. Always have. I had some sort of IQ test or somewhat when I was only a little kid (not even in kinder) and I got reasonably high results in everything but maths, so I guess I was born this way. Born without the maths vein in my brain which allows maths nerds (*cough* my brother *cough*) to figure out maths equations in a matter of seconds. That is pretty much the opposite of moi. Sometimes, being paranoid in tests, I use the calculator to type in 6+7. Yeah, that pretty much explains it all.

So Mum says she understands that I hate maths and although she didn’t use these words, she pretty much also said that I suck at it too. But she said she wanted me to give some effort. Which I have been doing, mind you. It’s just...maths sucks. It doesn’t interest me, and I hate numbers. Whilst I try my hardest to focus, I almost feel like I don’t belong in the maths world. Sit me in a library, in front of a typewriter or daydreaming and I’m blissful, happy in a land of clouds and unicorns. Sit me in a maths class, in front of a maths problem or any maths in general, and I’m in hell.

I know I should try harder since it’s my weakest point and all, and I’m going to TRY to focus more now after I’ve gotten my report, but I can’t guarantee anything. I’ve got parent teacher interviews on Monday and my parents are both quite eager to see my maths teacher (only coz of my only-just-passed mark in effort) which is going to be........interesting.

Anyway, enough of my rant. I just realised how negative this has all been so far!! I don’t mean it to be, but it just happens!! But to be honest with you, they are the two main bad things in my life at the mo’, the rest is pretty good!

Wednesday is my last day of school for the week, because of ANZAC (Australian & New Zealand Army Corps) day on Thursday and then a teacher curriculum day on Friday (both days I get off) so I’ve got a majorly WICKED 4 DAY WEEKEND coming up which is awesome. But tomorrow, (which is Wednesday at the time of writing this) has maths AND karate. Ugh.

Ok EJ, take a de-ep breath... and whilst before you said you don’t like lists, you’re gunna write one right now, of positive things in my life.

·         The fact I’ve got a four day weekend coming up! PARTAY TIME!

·         My mum. Just then. She came in and thanked me for helping her pack backpacks tonight (that’s another story which I won’t go into) but it made me feel loved and appreciated and it took her mind off my satisfactory maths mark.

·         My Lost Boys fan fic. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of in love with The Lost Boys at the moment. Y’know, the 80s movie about vampires and that has Kiefer Sutherland, Jason Patric, Jami Gertz and Dianne Wiest in it? It’s amazing. And today I found a bunch of fan fictions on the internet that I’m gunna read on my day off tomorrow :D

·         Poly. It’s as simple as that. c’:

·         My good-ish marks for the rest of my report.

Uhm I’ve lost inspiration now. Awkward.

And it’s now 11:08pm so I better get to sleep, coz I’ve got my LAST DAY OF THE WEEK TOMORROW! YAY :D









All my love,




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